How to Maintain friendship : Friends are Forever

Best friends require one-on-one contact to survive. Telephone calls and getting together are musts for best friends to continue.

In fact, probably the quickest way to end a friendship is to neglect it and sever contact.

Yet it is hard to make time in a busy day and busy life to maintain our friends. But you don't have to have hours to spare to maintain a friendship.

Instead try the following to keep from neglecting your friends:

* Send frequent email. Email is a boon for a quick note.
* Call once a week. Telephone calls do not take long.
* Keep in touch through brief messages left on answering machines.
* Send an occasional card. Funny and/or appropriate cards take minutes to choose and address.
* Exercise together. We all have to exercise. It is more fun with a friend, plus, there is no better place for talking than a walk in the park.
* Clean house together. This is another must do and two makes cleaning fun instead of boring.
* Send pictures. A picture is still worth a thousand words.
* Go to lunch at least once a month. More often would be better.

* Be a good listener; refrain from offering advice or moralizing.
* Respect your friend's point of view. Different personalities can complement each other; it isn't always necessary to see eye to eye.
* Never betray a trust. Trust, when violated, can ruin even the best friendship.
* Support and praise your friends; ignore their failures and imperfections.
* Never resent a friend's success. Instead, strive to admire her achievements.

Flexibility is always important for maintaining friendships. Be understanding when your friend has a last minute change in plans. Learn to accept "I'm sorry to cancel, but we will have another time together Sunday."

When paths begin to separate (you are married; he isn't or you have a baby; she is still childless) at forks in the road of life, that is the most important time of all to stay in touch with friends.

When there is conflict, it must be resolved for friendship to continue. Confrontation is one way to resolve conflict. Talking it out is another.

A cooling-off period is sometimes necessary when conflict has occurred. Once you reinitiate conflict, it may not even be necessary to discuss the conflict.

How to Build Friendships from Casual Friends

In most cases, the transition from acquaintance to friendship occurs gradually. We reach out to offer friendship by offering a potential friend caring, listening, talking, sharing, accepting, and affirming. It takes time and effort to build a friendship. They are built slowly, slowly, slowly...

Yet, nothing can add more to your life than having truly intimate friends. "Just friends" is a goal worth pursuing!

Friendships can take up to three years to build! And building friendships is much the same for children as adults, but a bit quicker!

Self-Disclosure builds friendships.

Self-disclosure is usually the first step in establishing a confidant. And it is scary because of the potential rejection factor. Do it anyway!

Start by sharing a few private thoughts and/or feelings with one person you might want for a close friend. If the person is responsive, he/she will usually share a personal thought or two with you.

If he/she is not responsive to your overtures, don't think of this as a rejection.People may be non-responsive for reasons of their own or merely as a perception of yours. Nevertheless, they can't be rejecting you because they don't even know you yet.

Listening and acknowledging builds friendships.

Often when your child, lover/partner, or friend tells you a story or voices a complaint, he/she is just asking for acknowledgment.

This does not mean that he/she wants agreement or compliance; it merely indicates a desire to be heard and understood.

Try these three steps to acknowledgment:

1. Repeat back.
2. Don't invalidate.
3. Don't try to change.
4. Don't problem solve.

Many conflicts in your personal relationships can be avoided if you will take the time to acknowledge others feelings and points of view. For more information about acknowledgment, click here.

Listening and attending builds friendships.

Paying attention to someone is called "attending." It means that your ears, your eyes, your body and your feelings are all focused on that person at one time. Attending is a very important part of any relationship. It includes:

1. Being there physically
2. Focusing
3. Eye contact

Looking at and focusing on another person shows that you are "there for him/her." For more information on attending, click here.

Talking Is a Primary Building Block of Friendships.

Talking is an integral component of friendship.

When a friend talks and reveals ideas or feelings, he/she is expecting shared information in return. When the talk is not equal, the person talking feels as if the listener is uninterested.

In fact, the person who is always the listener is really playing the role of a counselor, not a friend. Anytime you have been talking for more than a minute or two without participation from the person you are talking to, you are lecturing, bossing, or putting that person in the role of a counselor.

Loyalty, Equality, and Respect build friendship.

Friends are equal. Without equality, you can't have a close friendship.

Friends are loyal and trustworthy. No one can confide in someone they can not trust to be loyal and to keep his/her secrets.

Friends have similar values. Our value system is so important to us that our friends' values must be close to our own or we will not have respect for this friend.

Friendship is Good for the Body and the Soul : Friends are our truest treasures

Friends are our truest treasures. How many times have they: Made us laugh when we felt like crying over a bad mistake? Made us feel loved when our boyfriends (or girlfriends) broke up with us? Gave us the courage to go back to school or to change careers? Like armor, good friends make us almost invincible, capable of warding off the blows life occasionally deals us. Because of their steadfastness, we see setbacks for what they are: temporary.

Because friends accept us for who we are, we gain the confidence to dream great dreams—and to make them real. Friends liven up our days with their twisted humor, their honest answers, and their ability to bear our gloating when we beat them at golf or tennis. We can even trust them with our most embarrassing secrets! What a relief it is for us to reveal our true selves to someone!

It’s no wonder, then, that medical researchers have found that those who have friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer than those who do not. In fact, friendship has numerous physical and spiritual benefits.

First, you should know Know “Thyself”

What does knowing “thyself” have to do with finding friends? Well, before you can start your quest for new friends, you have to know what type of friends will be compatible with you. That means you need to get to know the “real” you.

Coming to grips with who you really are takes some soul searching. Here are some questions to get you on your way:


What Kind of Person Am I?

Are you a morning person, or do you come alive when the sun goes down? Do you love to gossip, or are all secrets safe with you and expect everyone else to be the same? Are you habitually late, or always ten minutes early? Do you exercise religiously, or are you a master couch potato? Do you freak if a picture on your wall is a hair off center, or is your house a perfect simulation of a tornado strike?

Everything mentioned above has a bearing on what type of friend you would be compatible with. Write a brief bio on what kind of person you are, making note of your temperament, foibles, likes and dislikes. What do you like about yourself the most? What would you change?

Take your time and ponder on it for several days. If you get stuck, ask a family member whose opinion you value or one of your present friends who you really trust. Once you know who you are, it is easier to find the type of friend you can establish a lasting relationship with.

What Do You Do With Your Spare Time?

Do you own a parachute or two? Do you love to knit so much that you, your family, and your neighbors have more sweaters than any of you can possibly wear? Do you golf every weekend, weather permitting or not? Have you ever spent three consecutive hours talking on the phone with a friend? Did you see every film nominated for an academy award in 2002? Then you are serious about your favorite pastime!

Make a list of all your favorite pastimes and hobbies, no matter how mundane it may seem. Make a list of a new hobby or pastime that you would love to try. Then decide which ones you prefer to do alone, and which ones you would love to have a friend participate in.

Basing friendships around activities is a great way to establish instant rapport, as well as create amble opportunities to have shared experiences, which are a keystone of a long lasting friendship.

In Conclusion...

The benefits of having good friendships are enormous, so take the time to get to know yourself well. List your favorite pastimes, as well as the pastimes you would like to try in the future. Decide which ones you'd like to share with a friend. Once you are done, you will be well on your way to making new friends and having fun.

What Is the Definition of a Friend and Friendship

One thing that makes being a human being so interesting is the fact that not one of us is exactly alike. We all have our own likes and dislikes, needs and desires. We also have our own unique idea of what a friend is, what a friend does, and what a friend definitely does not do.

Define A Friend

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary says that a friend is “one attached to another by affection or esteem”. I'm sure you'll agree with that definition, but there is so much more to add to it if you want to find friends that you can have a long lasting, mutually beneficial, relationship with.

My own definition of a friend is a female or male that I can talk to about anything at anytime. Communication is very important to me, so I like to have friends that I enjoy conversing with whether in person, on the phone, or via e-mail. A friend must be trustworthy and honest. After all, if I'm going to share most of my inner most thoughts and secrets with someone, she has to know how to keep a confidence, and not exploit my weaknesses. He cannot be a habitual liar, something I detest, and should not be closed-minded, but enjoy trying new things. I prefer a non-smoker who drinks in moderation.

Of course, the definition I just gave is my short version; I could go on for pages and pages, but you now have an idea of what I mean by writing a definition of a friend.

Use Your Present Friends As a Example.

A good way for you to figure out what to put in your definition of a friend is to take a good look at your present friends. What do you like about them the most? What is it about that person that makes you want to spend your time with him or her? What are some of the qualities that he or she has that you could do without?

Sometimes there is no easily definable reason you like someone. You just do, plain and simple. Well, that’s okay too. Just add to your definition, I just have to like her, no real reason required.

Don't Be Inflexible

Of course the likelihood of you finding one person that perfectly matches your definition exactly is about as likely as finding a sugar substitute that really tastes like sugar, so be flexible. This definition just gives you a broad idea of what you're looking for, and what to avoid. For example, one of my best friends is a chain smoker who has two “hollow legs”, but I love her anyway.

Now sit down and write your own definition of what a friend is. Once you have your wishes and desires down on paper, it will make the task of finding new friends all the more easier.

How to make friends: Friends are Forever

Get Out of The House

Unless you're rich and famous, it’s not very likely that people who want to be your friend will come knocking at your door. One of the most important things you'll want to do in your quest to find new friends is to get out of the house. You have to be out and about where you can meet new people if you want to find potential new friends.

Get of the house and go where?

Actually, that’s an easy question to answer. Think about your favorite pastime. What do you like to do when you have a spare moment?

Do you like to read? Then join a book club or go to book signings, if they're available in your area. Can't find a book club? Then start your own. There are several good books available on how to start and run a successful book club.

If you love to watch sports, then go to a sports bar to watch the big game, instead of watching it at home. If you're more of a doer than a watcher, then join a bowling or tennis league. Join a runners club. Check out your local paper. You'll be surprised at how many sports related activities there are to participate in.

Religious Services are another great place to meet people. I met my best friend in the world at church one fine Sunday.

Learn something new

Most colleges have adult education courses that are fun, interesting and give you ample opportunity to meet new people that share a common interest. Or, you can take tennis lessons; learn to play golf or some other sport.

Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer

Volunteering is an excellent way to make new friends, and help better your community at the same time. Hospitals, museums, churches and libraries, to name just a few, are always looking for volunteers. Or you can join one of the many volunteer organizations that exist today.

Make time to make friends

Don't let a busy schedule, family obligations or shyness, keep you from making new friends. Set a goal that you will get out of the house at least once a week, whether it’s to take a class, play a sport, or attend religious services. You'll find that in no time, you will have made many new friends and acquaintances.

Make New Friends and keep the older one also: Friends are Forever

Friendship Takes Time

Thanks to television, the telephone, and the World Wide Web, we have become a society of people who expect to get everything we want in an instant. We flip on the television and we are immediately entertained, we pick up the telephone and are instantly connected to anyone in the world, and because of the internet, we can get almost any information we want with a click of the mouse and a few key strokes.

Unfortunately, not everything in life can happen that quickly. Some things take perseverance, work, and time. Establishing good, long lasting friendships is one of those things.

How Long Should It Take?

It depends on how you define friendship. If you consider someone you have an occasional beer with after work a friend, then it might not take you very long to find new friends. However, if you are looking for a deeper relationship that is based on traits like trustworthiness, loyalty, and dependability, it will take more time to find out if a person you want to befriend has those qualities.

Think about your personal definition of a friend if you’ve created one. How long do you think it will take to find out if a person meets each one of the points you’ve outlined? A week? A month? Years perhaps?

Don’t Be Discouraged.

If you’ve created a definition of a friend that has a lot of “meat” to it, it might me be a while before you discover whether a potential new friend fits the bill. Don’t let that discourage you.

If you’ve ever gone on a vacation with friends whose company you really enjoy, I’m sure you found that getting to your vacation destination was just as much fun as being there. As you traveled along you talked, you laughed, and you where filled with pleasurable anticipation of what was to come. The same is true as you strive to established new friendships. Enjoy the ride as you travel towards your goal.

Weathering the Friendship Storms

A friendship worth having takes time to develop so that it can weather any friendship storms. What are friendship storms? Like any other relationship, problems will arise. Misunderstandings will happen, arguments will occur, feelings will be hurt, and your friendship will be put to the test. Friendships that have developed over time can withstand these storms and become even stronger.

So, relax and enjoy the processes as you make new acquaintances that blossom into friendships. The benefits are worth the wait.

Make Long Lasting Friendships by Sharing experiences

There are many ingredients that go into developing a long lasting friendship. You need some loyalty, a good measure of common interests, and a heaping helping of mutual respect, to name just a few. However, all of those ingredients are useless if they're not bound together by shared experiences.

Shared Experiences?

The glue that helps hold a friendship together is spending as much time with your friends as possible, enjoying good times, and sometimes not so good times. In other words, have many shared experiences. The more time you spend with your friends, the more you get to know, understand, trust, and yes, love your friends.

Schedule a Monthly Get-Together

For you to befriend someone you must have some common interest that has drawn the two of you together. Set a date at least once a month to enjoy that favorite hobby or pastime with your friends. I find that scheduling a monthly “let’s catch a movie” night with my friends makes it easier for everyone to get together on a regular basis.

Holidays

My friend Jack hosts an all you can eat barbecue for all his friends and family at the local state park every 4th of July. Its always a huge success, rain or shine, drawing people from as far away as Brazil. Jack says that the barbecue is a great way to stay close with his friends that live near by, and keep in touch with friends who have moved away.

Going away on vacation with your friends can create shared experiences that will be remembered for years to come. Plan carefully, keeping everyone’s tastes and budgets in mind, and the trip will be stress free and wonderful. And don't forget to take lots of pictures for those future walks down memory lane.

Host a Dinner Party

If your friends are anything like mine, they like to eat. Inviting your friends over for a meal is a great way to have shared experiences that can be as elaborate as you want, or as simple. You can serve a six-course meal or order pizza, its up to you. Rent a movie, get out your favorite board game, or simply talk, and your dinner party will be a shared experience success.

Grab a Cup of Coffee

Meeting up with friends for a quick cup of coffee, or perhaps going out for a beer after work is a good way to build up your friendships when you have a very busy schedule. Spending an hour or so with friends on a regular basis is even better then the occasional special outing.

Make That Telephone Call

If you don't even have time to grab that quick drink, all is not lost. Keeping in touch via telephone is something you can do whenever that spare moment arises. Call your friends often and see how your friendships will thrive.

Share the Bad Times

Unfortunately life is full of bad experiences. Don't ruin friendships by being a fair-weather friend.

Never forgot to give your condolences when your friends lose a loved one, and as unpleasant as they are, attend the funeral if it’s at all possible. Be there as a shoulder to cry on when your friends romantic relationships end badly, and don't abandon your friends when they're sick. Sharing their pain is one of the best ways to show you care about someone, and it will make your friendship stronger then ever before.

Nothing builds a stronger, long lasting relationship with friends then having a variety of shared experiences with them. After all, what are friends for?

Find the Friends for Every occasion: Friends are Forever

The More the Merrier

Donna’s experience is a good example of why you should have friends for every occasion. If you've created your own definition of friendship, I'm sure you'll agree that finding one person that completely fits the bill is a tall order.

Why miss out on doing something you enjoy because none of your present friends are interested, and you don't want to, or as is the case with most sports, can't go it alone? In most of the world there’s only one spouse “to a customer”, but there’s no limit on how many friends you can have.

Find Entertainmates

Friendships based on an activity are easy to establish. The main purpose of this web site is to create a way for people to find friends that share their interests. Take a look around. Check out the various features of the site. You can make new friends in your neighborhood, or around the world that share one or two of your interests, or several.

Joining a club or taking a class is another great way to meet people that share your interests. However, don't sit back and wait for someone to approach you. Take the initiative and set activity dates. You can limit the friendship to that activity only, or let it expand into other areas of your life. It’s up to you.

It has been said that variety is the spice of life. So, spice up your life by enjoying a variety of activities with a variety of people. Seeking out friends for every occasion will help you do just that.

All Friendships Are Not Alike: Friendships, like fine wine, come in many different varieties

Friendships, like fine wine, come in many different varieties. In the wine world you can enjoy a rich Merlot, a complex Cabernet Sauvignon, a bold Chardonnay, or a delicate Champagne. The same is true of friendship. You can have a steadfast best friend, a trusted close friend, an engaging casual friend or even an acquaintance you enjoy talking to from time to time.

As you've discovered from your own personal definition of a friend, finding one person who can completely satisfy all of what you require from friendship is not easy. However, by having several different friends of various types, you don't have to depend on one person to fill all your friendship needs.

The Best Friend

When there is a discussion about the joys of friendship, the best friend is the type of friendship most people have in mind. The best friend is usually someone who knows you almost as well as you know yourself (in some instances, even better). The best friend is a confidant who knows your deepest, darkest secrets and has discovered your major flaws, but still loves you anyway. Of course it goes without saying that the feeling is mutual.

Neither time, distance, arguments, nor adversity seem able to sour your relationship with your best friend. As wonderful as it is, this is not the easiest type of friendship relationship to develop. Most people only have one best friend in a lifetime. However, it is well worth the effort required to build and keep a best friend.

The Close Friend

Most people have more than one close friend. These are the people you “hang out” with on a fairly regular basis. You might not share your most personal secrets with your close friends, but you trust them with a good portion of your innermost self. You share many different activities with your close friends, from vacations to simple phone calls. Close friends are highly valuable. Just as in is the case with best friends, the effort put into your relationship with your close friends is also time well spent.

The Casual Friend

Casual friends are usually your activity buddies. The time you spend with them is usually centered around a specific activity, hobby or sport. The people in your book club might be considered your casual friends. You generally only associate with them when it’s related to the book club, but you all know each other quite well. Casual Friends are also very valuable. The more casual friends you have the merrier. They will help keep a lot of variety in your life.
Acquaintances

Acquaintances abound. Your co-workers, the green grocer who always has a kind word to say, your neighbors. Don't dismiss them as unimportant. Having aquaintences can give you a good sense of "belonging". Don't you feel more a part of your neighborhood when people know you and you know them, even if its just to say hello when you see each other at the bustop in the morning?

Nothing Is Set In Stone

Of course there’s a grey area in practically every situation in life. You might find it difficult to define the relationship you have with your friends, or perhaps you can add more friendship varieties to this list. That’s fine. As a matter of fact, you can define your own friendship categories.

Not only are the categories not set in stone, neither are the people in them. The real beauty of friendship is that you can choose to work towards making an acquaintance a casual friend or a casual a close friend. It’s all up to you.

Friendship, like fine wine, can make “the heart rejoice”. Why not try out all the different varieties.

Loaning Money to a Friend: What do you do when a friend asks to borrow some money?

What do you do when a friend asks to borrow some money? If it’s a small amount of money then perhaps there is no issue. But what if isn't?

Money issues can be a problem in any relationship. It has wrecked marriages, caused a “gap” between parents and children, and unfortunately, caused friendships to come to an untimely end. Here are some ideas on how to make the question, “can I borrow some money?” a lot easier to answer.

I Would Give My Friends the World If I Had It

Some of us feel that way. I have a friend or two who I would loan or even give however much money they ask for (if I have it), and they would do the same for me. But the reality is, not every friendship is a like, and not everyone has the same financial abilities or responsibilities.
Make Your Feelings Known

If you are the type of person who doesn't think loaning money to anyone is a great idea, or if you suspect someone has befriended you in hopes of someday tapping your resources, then make your feelings on loaning money known ahead of time. Skillfully dropping hints that you don't loan money will likely help you avoid the situation all together.

Is It A Gift Or A Loan?

Many friendships have ended because it was not clear from the beginning that the money was a loan, not a gift, and how and by when the loan is to be repaid. If you feel it’s necessary for peace of mind, ask your friend to sign a *Promissory Note (which is legally binding if done properly), stating the amount of the loan, the date and method by which the money will be paid back, and the amount of interest that will be paid, if any.

How Do Your Friends Handle Their Money?

Ask yourself that question before the subject of money comes up. There’s no need to pry, as you spend time with and talk to your friends, in one way or another the subject of money will come up. Time and observation will allow you to be able to answer the question above, as well as the following auxiliary questions.

How does he spend his money? Is he a tightwad or spendthrift? Does he have a well-stocked portfolio or does he get constant calls from creditors? Is your friend the kind of person who wouldn't ask to borrow money if her life depended on it, or does she borrow money all the time? Does she pay it back on time or do you have to send out a search party?

Answering those questions will help you know in advance what you will say to the question, can I borrow some money?

Sometimes You Want To Say No.

There are circumstances where you simply do not want to loan the amount of money asked for. Perhaps you have the money earmarked for something very important. You may be in the situation where the money is not yours alone to give. Then again, it may be that you have no confidence that it will be returned, and you can't afford to take that kind of loss.

A friend is a friend in good times and bad. Perhaps you can give a smaller loan, or there might be some other way you can help that doesn't involve money. Either way, it’s a tough decision and you must decide whether you will loan the money anyway and deal with the aftermath, or say no and see if your friendship can withstand the monetary bump in the road.

Maintaining long lasting friendships can be a challenge, so decide in advance what you will say when asked to loan money, and it won't seem like a challenge to you at all.

Can Platonic Relationships and Friendship Really Work?

Platonic relationships have been the subject of countless books, movies and sitcoms, and for good reason. There’s enough potential heartbreak associated with platonic relationships to keep writers busy for years. But the question is, can platonic relationships really work? Well, before we can answer that question, we need to know what is meant by a platonic relationship.
What Exactly is a Platonic Relationship?

Though a little different from Plato’s original concept of love, in modern times the terms “platonic love” and “platonic relationship” have come to mean a relationship between individuals of the opposite sex marked by the absence of romance or sex.

So to put it simply, a platonic relationship is a close friendship between a man and women.
Why Should There Be a Problem?

The reason platonic friendships can be difficult is genetics. For a good portion of us, attraction to the opposite sex is genetically “hardwired” into our psyche. There’s no way to avoid it. We find the physical form of the opposite sex attractive, the opposite sex exudes pheromones that we find attractive, even something as simple of the timbre of the voice of a member of the opposite can trigger a romantic response in us.

Add to that the fact that nothing makes a romantic relationship more successful then when the people involved are “friends first”, and it’s easy to see why platonic relationships can be difficult to keep strictly platonic.

Are They Possible?

Of course they are. George Washington and Betsy Ross where close platonic friends as well as other historical figures. Platonic relationships abound, and I'm sure that if you think about your own circle of acquaintances, you will discover platonic relationships that are working quite well.

But many platonic relationships do not work well. When romantic feelings spring up in both parties, then the friendship turns into a romantic relationship and everyone is happy. But a good portion of the time only one of the friends becomes attracted to the other, and then the platonic relationship is in trouble.

When the Friendship Goes Awry

Anyone who has ever been in love with someone who does not share that feeling knows the pain and frustration that comes with that situation. If the friend whose feelings have shifted towards romance can suppress or ignore those feelings, the platonic friendship can continue on as before. But often times that’s not possible and as sad and painful as it, sometimes friendships end.

So, can platonic relationships work? Yes they can. Romantic feelings between the sexes don't always exist, leaving room for a very fulfilling and lasting friendship.

Friendship Sometimes Hurts: Everybody makes mistakes, even our nearest and dearest friends

Everybody makes mistakes, even our nearest and dearest friends. That is a truism that can't be avoided or changed. So, what do you do when a friend says or does something that hurts you? Here are some tips.

Keep Things In Perspective

Some days I'm much more sensitive than others. The same comment that hit a nerve on Thursday wouldn't have fazed me on Friday, so it’s important to keep things in perspective. Just as we can occasionally have a bad day, so can our friends. Illness, personal problems, or even lack of sleep can cause people to say or do hurtful things unintentionally. Be quick to give your friends the benefit of the doubt. The “mountain out of a molehill syndrome” has wrecked many a friendship.

The Molehills

Small slights and harmless mistakes happen all the time in every type of relationship. Most of them should be ignored. After all, we wouldn't want someone harping on every mistake we make.

But, there are times when you just can't let it go, no matter how small, or the hurtful thing may be something that is done repeatedly. Well in that case, its time to sit down and have a talk with your friend. Most of the time, our friend may not realize we are angry about something that seems so insignificant, but if its going to cause a rift between the two of you, its best to get it out in the open.

The Mountains

Some errors are mountainous when it comes to the kind of pain they cause, and cannot be ignored. A natural reaction to something a friend does that seriously hurts us may be to walk away and wait for an apology.

Of course, every circumstance is different and that may be the best way to handle things, but I find that the closer I am to the friend involved, the more upset I will be about the situation. Why wait around with your feelings all in an uproar? Talk to your friend about what he or she has done as soon as possible. Perhaps the entire incident was a big misunderstanding, perhaps not. Either way, the sooner you get the matter cleared up, the sooner your piece of mind will return.

Forgive and Don't Hold A Grudge

Whether the problem was a minor molehill or an immense mountain, once you've said, “I forgive you”, be true to your word. Forgive your friend, forget the incident, and don't hold a grudge. Realistically, it may be impossible for you to totally forget something that was extremely hurtful. However, if you've truly forgiven your friend for the error, you won't treat him/ her any differently then before the incident, and you'd never bring it up again.

The Unforgivable

Sadly there are times when a friend says or does something to us that we find unforgivable, and that basically spells the end of the friendship. Only you can decide what type of mistake falls into that category, but when you can, be generous with your forgiveness and others will be generous when forgiving you.

Friendship is important to health and happiness of each one of us, but problems will arise. Things will be said and done that are hurtful, but they don't have to derail your friendships. Talk things over, be forgiving, and don't hold a grudge. These simple steps can help you maintain good friendships that can last a lifetime.

Friendship with Family Members and Relatives: there is a potential source of really great friendships that you might not have considered, your family

If you find that you have less friends then you think is idea, there is a potential source of really great friendships that you might not have considered, your family.
Why Would Relatives Make Good Friends?

Brothers, sisters, cousins, even in-laws are all good candidates for strong, satisfying friendships. After all, you already share one important thing in common, you are related, and that can be a powerful bond.

Also you already know several important things about your potential new friend. You know your relative's family background, personality, fears, loves, mood swings, foibles, pet peeves and the like, so there will be very few surprises that will pop up.

Friendship, Dating and difference of age: does a person’s age make a difference when it comes to friendship?

When it comes to dating, most of us have strong feelings about the proper age difference between two people looking for a mate. The more liberal minded believe that “anything goes” (as long as its legal), while many people see a real problem when there’s a significant age difference between two lovers. The term “cradle robber” comes to mind.

But does a person’s age make a difference when it comes to friendship? Is it better for all of your friends to be within the same age group as yourself, or are their advantages to having friends both older and younger?

Diversity Is A Good Thing

Just like diversifying your portfolio gives you many different ways to increase your net worth, having friends for various age groups can help increase your happiness and better your life in ways you might not realize. Let’s see how that’s the case.

Friends Your Own Age

Of course there are many advantages to having friends that are close to your own age. No doubt you will have many things in common. You will have grown up listening to the same type of music, enjoying the same movies and other forms of entertainment. You will probably be at the same stage in life, be it in High School, college, well into your career, married with children, or ready for retirement. All of those similarities will give you plenty of experiences to base a friendship on.

Friendship With Older People

It has been stated that wisdom comes with age. That is the greatest advantage of having friends who have “been around the block” a few more times than you have. Are you a newlywed or a new parent? Have you just graduated from college and are now off to start a career? Making friends with people who are a few, or even several years your senior will allow you to take advantage of their experience and insights.

You'll also get the opportunity to talk to someone who has experienced periods in history you've only read about. My friend Melissa, who is several years my senior, actually went to Woodstock, and we've spend many hours talking about her wild, and often wacky, experiences. Karl, who is in his 60s, often fascinates me when he reminisces about the time he marched on Washington or the many sit-ins and protests he’s attended. He particularly loves to relate about the time he was hosed by police.

If I only had friends in my own age bracket, what great times I would have missed out on, and I can think of a few life lessons I might have had to learn the hard way.

Friendship With Younger People

Do you want to recapture some of your youth? Friendship with younger people can do that for you. It also gives you the opportunity to share your knowledge with someone less experienced. There’s nothing more satisfying then helping someone else avoid your mistakes. Of course sharing is a two way street. My younger friends help me keep up with all the latest trends in music, fashion and the like.

So having friends both older and younger than you has several benefits. Don't miss out on all the great friendships you can have by looking beyond your own generation.

What kind of friend are you? 8 Essential Attributes of a True Friend

What kind of friend are you? Are you someone who others can turn to for support when they are down, can you give them a push at the same time as holding their hand, or are you more focused on just sharing gossip and social outings? How many of the following essential attributes of a true friend do you have?

Non-Judgmental: A true friend will never judge you. They will stand by you no matter what you believe or what you do. They may not agree with you, but they respect your right to make your own mistakes, have your own opinions, and walk the path you choose.

Compassion: A true friend will be the first person to offer you a supporting hand when you fall. They won't question whether the situation was your own making, they will just help you put things right again. They won't dismiss your sorrow at losing a pet, or your distress at your favourite team losing, as being non-important. They will know that it is important to you, and that's all that matters.

Listening: A true friend knows how to listen. Really listen, without feeling the need to talk and turn the conversation focus onto them. They will hear what you say and will be able to let you get your feelings out in the open without interruption.

Trust: A true friend will give you a safe place to be yourself. What you say or do will not be repeated by them to anyone else.

Encouraging: A true friend will help you find your dreams. They will explore your life and help you move towards what you really want in life.

Respect: A true friend will respect who you are. They won't expect you to change or do things different just to please them. They will embrace the differences between you as much as similarities.

Fearless: A true friend will tell you what you need to know! This isn't always easy to do, but a true friend will be tough enough to give you a push when needed.

Unconditional love and friendship: A true friend will stand by you through everything in your life. They might need some explanation of why you do something, they may try and advise you for or against some action, but they will always respect your right to choose your own path and will support your choices. They will guard your secrets and support your dreams; in bad times they will pick you up and dust you off when you fall, and then when times are good they will celebrate your success as if it were their own. They will never seek anything in return for their friendship nor will they place restrictions on it. A true friendship is completely unconditional.

So how do you rate as a true friend? How many of these attributes do you see in your own friends? If you have someone in your life who has all of these qualities, then you have one of the most prized of life's gems - a true friend.